Fore Ever.

Some idiot in Boston (here are our tax dollars at work folks) filed legislation, Senate 1777, complete with debate needed (March 2nd, should anyone besides me care) on whether or not any male child under the age of 18 should be allowed to be circumcised.

In case you don't recall my stance on this, hoods belong on the back of sweatshirts, or in the ghetto. Now, I must admit, I'm trying to get beyond this, as well, Lovely J is....um...hooded....but here's the rub (do pardon the untimely pun)-

Under this provision, barring medical necessity (what constitutes medical necessity? I got my son done because to me, that WAS a medical necessity) - anyone violating the ban?Possible 14 year prison sentence, and an unstipulated fine. Is the fine contingent upon how much you had removed? Does this moron really want to encourage the back-door circumcision business leading to a bunch of poorly trimmed, disfigured male wannabes running around?

Not to mention, possibly emotionally scarring your poor, misshapen little peanut as all his friends have nice clean, easy to see penis's, and his is well.....burrowing around in his drawers like an anteater.

Apparently, the penis pendulam swings back and forth continuously, has since the late 1800s, when snipping was thought to curb masturbation, which at the time, was thought to be harmful. I'll bet you the wives totally disagreed: quite frankly, there is a time and a place for the Go Do It Yourself Honey method. It's on the nights I've not shaved my legs, or have a headache, or he's been an asshole, and I don't feel like putting out. I could think of other reasons, but it's getting late, and honestly, that list could be long, and possibly endless.

So I read on, gobsmacked that an entire section of the paper was devoted to this guy -but in the interest of journalistic fairness, let's take a look, shall we, at the particulars:

Benefits of losing the hood:

Easier genital hygiene.

Slightly lower risk of urinary tract infections.

Less likelyhood of penis cancer. (that would be plenty reason for me)

Prevention of foreskin infections as well as phimosis (a condition that makes fore skin retraction impossible- ewwww)

A slightly lower risk of getting STD's, including HIV (which, accordingly to the article, causes AIDS. So glad they cleared that tidbit up - do note the sarcasm.)

A much HIGHER F rating. (read: you get laid a hell of a lot more often, not to mention more bj's and road head, but I digress)

Benefits of keeping hood:

*I can't think of any, but, let's check the article for their opinion

Risks include short term bleeding and infection, though, it does point out, that choosing a good snipper is important - not too short, not too long, just right is the key.

Apparently, it "provides additional sexual pleasure", and, the hood provides some protection to the head of the penis.

I kind of thought that's what boxers were for; but no one asked me.

So let me get this straight: of all the things we need to fix in this country, in this state, this idiot chooses to spend our valuable time and money debating the merits of snipping, or not. Making it mandatory to leave it unsnipped, even if the fore skin is so long it drags on the ground, making locating the actual penis impossible. (That might have gone a tad far, but still)

I'd have thought balancing the Big Dig budget might have come ahead of this issue; and I would be mistaken.

I sort of think, no, I honestly think that if I have to allow for mandatory enlistment in the armed forces, should World War III ever occur, I should, at the very least be allowed to choose if he dies with a hood on, or not. If you ask around? And I did, (thanks, J, for being honest) even those still sporting the hood snip their little ones.

There's the issue, in the flesh, so to speak: it's the right, for every parent, to choose whether to leave their little guy as God delivered him, or spiff him up a wee tad.

As for J? I still haven't found out if we're talking 1940's shawl collar, or mock turtle neck, but one of these days, I'll get around to finding out. Not sure what I'll do if it's more....than, say...less.

Then again, maybe, since I won't be breaking any laws, I can talk him into getting that snipped when the Other Big Snip occurs.

A two-fer, if you will.

If I'm really lucky? He'll dip it in platinum.

To remind me, I'm his, Fore Ever.