Where's the beef?

(will admit: is a repost, as I'm trying to get all posts from one place to another; is a 2008 posting - enjoy!)

Evidently, there is quite the debate brewing, over the cost of cloned meat and dairy, as well as whether or not, it’s technically, ya know, MEAT or DAIRY. Which, naturally (pardon the ill-timed pun) got me to thinking about all the things we’ve cloned, without really considering it - we effectively, to a certain extent, clone dogs, to achieve “breed standard”. We’ve done the same with grain, corn, farm produce, and oranges, for YEARS, yet where is the hue and cry over that?

There IS none. Which clearly brings us to the point where it’s okay to create and keep, say, the seedless watermelon, the seedless cucumber, (which in turn, becomes the much loved seedless pickle) because …. why again?

That's right, we prefer seedless produce. We'd prefer to deprive our children of watermelon seed spitting contests, spare ourselves listening to them whine about seeds in their clementines. Everyone prefers seed-less grapes.

I’m all for seedless produce. Personally, I think we’d be accomplishing a hell of a feat if we could create shitless, seedless, slime-less tomatoes, seedless blackberries too would really tickle my fancy, but no one asked me. Instead, after the world lauded the first cloned sheep (we even quite adorably named her Dolly) now, we’ve an issue with cloned cattle. Was Dolly and her ilk any less delicious? Was her wool any less desirable? I hardly think so.

Hell.

If we can take a fabulous breed of beef cattle, and create lots more of those delicious beasts, wouldn’t it be akin to popping out bin after bin of hot dogs? Only, obviously, closer to filet. Or. Well. Really filet. Plus also, the cost of leather goods might also fall, which would make that too die for pair of Ralph Lauren calfskin boots I’ve been eyeing a lot easier to attain. Kate Spade and Coach could bitch; their profit margins might be smaller - then again, maybe not. If I’m honest (and when it comes to fashion, I’ll deny having said this) we’re not buying a quality of leather. We’re buying the style, the name, the prestige, the quality of the sweat shop they’re running. We're buying the tag.

Perhaps, too, we can “clone out” the undesirable traits - (hello, this is what we’ve been doing for years!) - say, for example, mad cow disease, or, hmmm, that icky cholesterol I’m supposed to be worried about. Build in extra iron, for those of us suffering from anemia.

If I can inhale cigarette smoke, against my wishes, mind, be exposed to radiation when I fly, far more than I ever will on land, visiting either the dentist, or the mammographer, be polluted, smogged, acid rained on, while also considering the effects of butterflies sneezing in the amazon, and how it’ll bring in the next substantial snow fall (due tonight, should anyone care) then really, I think I can indulge in a little faux-beef with my upper-class, Kate Spade carrying meat-eating counterparts.