I'd known it was time to tame them, when I caught myself petting them during a particularly hard session with C, any conversation with Mommy Dearest, and under any moment of duress.
Squinching my eyes together, I resembled a porcupine. In a pissy mood.
In short: it was high time - past time truly, to whip out the old wax pot, pop in microwave, melt into the consistency of honey, and apply. God, sounds so easy any moron could do it. I've done it before, so trust me on this one- it's a damn sight harder than the pictures make it look.
Once, with a Bath Emergency going on right next to me (Fox was playing "drowning" - not ever to be repeated in this house) I ripped off an entire side. Being a stickler for the "perfect match", I felt, at the time, I'd no choice but to rip off the other side in it's entirety as well.
Would've been a better plan, had I already owned a brow pencil. Some form of eye make up even close to my hair color. Instead, I looked perpetually surprised (horrified out of my pants really) for about the next three weeks - when I sucked it up, and went back to paying for it. Professionals do a great job.
Catching myself petting my own brows was frightening enough I decided to have another go...not bad, if I say so myself. Darn close to being totally even. Even enough, in fact, that if I don't put away the tweezers, I may end up having none, as I'll be doing that No, That Side's A Wee Tad Fuller...Damn, Now It's This One Game - I's started just in time for my favorite part of shower time: wrap up Fox in a big, fluffy, towel, listen to him linger on one topic or another while drying off.
He hopped up on the throne, watched as I'd applied the oil, painted, pulled, plucked and preened. He decided he has a unibrow.
He does.
He wanted it waxed - did it hurt? Was it boiling? Would he turn blue? Am I sure this stuff isn't only for girls? At least this time, Mama you didn't rip them all off - you were really scary for a while there. (gee, thanks. so much for forgetting that little episode) He applied the pre-wax oil just to the spot between his...er...there is not spot between his brows.
Above his nose. Right. I painted, the scent of bananas and blueberries filling the already steamy bathroom, Pucker at the ready, just in case the wax is edible. (for future reference, it is) Allowing it to harden, he closed his eyes, told me to count to three, and pull.
He's tickled pink. He has "my very own two brows!!" - I think I've created a monster. I can only imagine getting called into the principals office tomorrow - one, I've showed him that being dirty can cause your penis to fall off, and now, we're waxing his eyebrows.
If THIS isn't what good parenting is all about, gosh, I just don't know what is.
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