Fly

I am annoyed.

There is a fly.

In my room.

Buzzing.

LOUDLY.

Quite annoying. More annoying? Stupid dog that should be chasing said fly, sleeping through annoying buzzing fly.

She's a hunting dog.

So go hunt the damn fly. Stop hunting on your Circus Dog Hind Legs the damn hamster; Cookie is not going to be your friend. He's not Declan. He doesn't even like you. I'd go so far as to say he loathes you. Frankly, I would too if each time I went to peek over the precipice at the edge of my home I ran into the nostril of some beast nine million times larger than I am.

Go hunt something important -

For the record? Ripping my arm off at the shoulder while simultaneously wrenching my elbow out of it's socket to chase baby bunnies does not count as hunting....that's seriously deranged behavior on both your parts! First, the bunnies do not move. They. Sit. There. Frozen....I had a dog that did that; if I'm not looking directly at you, pretending you're not there? You're not there. Am thinking bunnies are really stupid. Secondly? You're no smarter for not realizing you've a five foot lead strapped to your neck, so yes, every time you bolt after bunny, once ya'all touch noses, you are indeed going to choke yourself.

It is not I choking you.

That's you choking you.

Tonight, however, it could very well be me choking you, as fly noise ramping up my already snarky attitude, further fueled by watching you lay there. Snoring.

You've the gall, the absolute audacity to snore, when you've clearly a job to do!

There are no free lunches my girl, it's about time you earned your keep. Go. Hunt. Fucking. Fly.

In fact, I'll trade you: you get fly, I'll let you pee on the rug in the basement. How's that for a fair trade?

Bitch didn't even bat an eye.

I've snoring fighting with buzzing.

Know what that means?

Now I'm doubly annoyed.