And away we go!

Pucker Up took her very first long car trip this past weekend.

We did great! With the windows down, the humidity high, nary a sharp, eye-popping, gag-inducing fart permeated the front seat. Not a clue as to whether Fox noticed it or not - am going with not, as his nose, (poor baby) is still soooo stuffed up, I'd be surprised if he could smell ammonia if it were right under his nose.

Hmmm. I could profit, selling whiffs of Pucker's Intestinal Slippage to capsule companies, for use in bringing around the newly fainted. Or, for use as a violent stalker deterrent - one you'd not need an FID card for in this state. (Yeah, I checked, anything marked Bear Spray is off the list of Hand-bag Worthy Defense Items) Not entirely sure what to call it....Butt Out?

She enjoyed the open window thing quite immensely, looked forward to our many stops, meeting some of the other totally ill-mannered-if-she-ever-behaved-that-way-monster-dogs at long, lushly green water holes (not of the drinking kind, just in case anyone got confused) I'd have skinned her and worn her as a stole.

I swear. What is it with people and their pets? If your pet takes on the characteristics of it's owners (let's face it, they do...my hips spread....Pucker's spread...neither of us enjoys being openly rude....we both detest stinging bugs) I can only imagine what kind of human being (and I use that loosely) you are. Should your animal be improperly socialized, bark up and tell us. We won't hold it against you! (not in front of you at least; we'll wait til you turn tail) I'd much prefer to know up front that you appear all friendly, playful even, using that as a ruse to get close enough to sample the inner-workings of my jugular.

Yes, my pup pulled, hard, to go visit the Wrong Side Of The Kennel Set, as they did indeed look friendly enough to have an exercise filled romp with on the lawn designated specifically for that purpose. Perhaps, being cooped up in a car (Australian Shepards, I gather, do not, indeed, enjoy long car rides) led to dealing with frustration in rather poorly made social decisions: aka biting. Teeth baring (after the biting - not a good sign), snarling with wagging tails led me to think that perhaps we were a few kibble shy a 20 pound bag.

Pucker and I awaited swift action on the part of the owner.

A long wait would have followed.

In unison, our noses rose, our backsides turned, talks erect, and walked the other direction, leaving the snarling twins and their yelling owner behind us.

Pucker Up and I had some time to kill; potty breaks all around; naturally, because it's us the line for the potties went round the exterior septic tank. I would have to pick the one rest stop with four busses unloading. Next time? Check rear-view mirror for bus on ramp behind. Then high-tail to potty immediately. Do not walk dog. Risk having whiz in backseat to dancing around like loon, 4000 people between you and semi-private voiding facility.

Instead, I allowed the boys to go first (says A LOT when there is a line for the BOYS room) wandering around with Pucker Up in the lead. Sigh. Yes. IN the lead, not really ON the lead. I'd shoved her in the car, the very least I could do was allow her to sniff wherever her nose led us.

Just not into the swamp land below. First, I swore - bugs, disease, frogs, snakes, bacteria grew in that - however, it did make clean up a veritable breeze. Forget the baggie I'd have to tote, knees locked together on my own way to the Human Pissing Ground, I'd add her particular brand into the viscous hardly moving cesspool on our right. Is excellent plan.

As traveling leads to dehydration, kicking completely solid waste products around amounted to calorie burning work out.

She showed off her perfect manners: we waited until after the Wrong Side Of The Kennel departed, then, and only then, did she pee.

Right where they did.

Just goes to show you, no matter what your species or breed? Wait long enough, and you can piss on someone else's spot.