Get Well Soon Cards.....

Whining is unladylike. It's annoying. It's soooo beneath me.

Except, for, maybe, today.

My jaw is killing me. So yes, I knew I needed to do something about it; my dentist has told me, my primary care doc had told me....go do something about that horrific TMJ, that leaves you snapping and popping every time you chew. Cereal for some reason? Pops uncontrollably. Maybe as its the first thing in the morning; maybe not. Not only is it uncomfortable for you? But those of us around you, we'd like to enjoy a meal with you where our focus is conversation, not how in hell you make those noises with your jaw.

Plus also? It's right in my ear, so I hear it. It's gotten loud, and, um, the noises are different. Scarier. Ouchier. Sort of....squishier. Hmm. I wondered if I should give that any thought. Decided not to.

Naturally, being me, I've waited until my jaw totally locked up, and I can't open my mouth, and I'm on the phone with the office in tears, before going to see someone. My own fault I feel as horrifically as I do; but seriously, who takes time out of their day to get their TMJ looked at? Like anyone really follows the advice doctors give us. Exam sounds so ugly that it Rated low on the Priority Totem Pole of experiences I'd want to enjoy.

I put it up there with putting clothes away. Since currently, a majority of items that are supposed to live upstairs are resting quite comfortably in the blue chair in my living room, I've decided to strategically arrange all folded items, as though it was a conscious design choice, not an indicator of Extreme Laziness.

I used to joke with a girlfriend, that when company was coming, and you've no time to clean, put up Get Well cards on the mantle - it'll forgive any and all Dust Bunny Discoveries, and Skid Marked Toilets you may have lurking in your house. Pretty cool trick, as it works.

(FYI: with an almost eight year old boy? All my toilets contain skid marks. Add in a shedding beagle, it looks as though it snows dog fur. Daily. )

I've taken the Flexiril, as they've recommended - wow, that stuff works like a charm! However, when taken, I have to plan to do absolutely nothing, as it not relaxes the muscles in my jaw, (sort of, not totally) but every other muscle I have. Including my brain. Double vision generally ensues - conversations end abruptly as apparently, I come to a full stop mid sentence. (Sorry Jen! That happened to you yesterday on the phone with me!)

I kind of enjoyed the smoothie diet - for like three nanoseconds - sucking breakfast lunch and dinner up a straw holds very little allure at the moment. Even though Mag's brought some fab bendy straws, and I've put Carnation Instant Breakfast in there, for some protein. I know why old people are bitchy - their food has no texture. It could also be their hideous perfume - but I'm going with they can't eat chips, or cookies, or all the really great crunchy things I so enjoy. Like lettuce, on a sandwich. Or toast.

There's no kissing, not the Real Kind, and I like the Real Kind. A lot. Am wondering if J is going to be less sympathetic as time passes, realizing that he has to kiss me like he might in the 1920's, as kissing does take two, and he's big on kissing as well. If my jaw gets wired shut? Oh boy.

Summary? My jaw hurts. My face hurts. The ear that the swelling is swelling into hurts; I have a headache, and I stubbed my toes on the edge of the shower stall, because I wanted to shower my face with hot, toasty water, and forgot just how loopy I get when taking the Flexiril. I broke a nail putting the blender together, spilled smoothie down the side of the stove, and burned my hand yesterday on Easy Mac - my thumb still throbs.

There.

Am done whining.

I'd say that I'm going to think positively! Take action! Make today productive! Like maybe I should tackle the Blue Chair Design today, dismantle it!

Let's not get carried away, shall we?

I think a little Flexiril could make even that design look pretty groovy.

It's kicking in. I've not once in my life used the word groovy.

Hmm. Not bad - from Whiney Mess to Loaded Groovy all in about a half hour.

I peeked in the bathroom....and have decided.... My mantle looks particularly empty...... where did I put all those Get Well Soon cards?