Banging Away....

Had yet more issues with B - and this time, it’s just rich. He’s reneged on his weekend with Fox, only it’s opening weekend for the show, so I’ve had to scamble and make sure it’s covered - and then, after this huge blow up, when he’s all sinisterly up in my face, with me against the front porch wall, trying my damndest to decide hit him? or not hit him? when I’m saved, because here comes Fox….cut to - he calls me, sobbing, at ten at night.

Hysterical.

About losing the house, the girlfriend, the kids, me, whatever. The roller coaster just climbs to the top, again. Only this time?

I don’t think I’m buying the ticket. I could linger here, with his vast array of shit, serving only to upset me, should I dwell upon it, and oddly enough, it wasn’t until I told M, that I realized just how fucked in the head he truly is. Quite. Fucked. Really.

And M thought I might want him back!!

Trust me on this one: I sooo do not. I’m all set, thank you. I left my ticket to the ride on the desk, turned my cell to silent, and continued on with my night. Yep, he wanted to come up north, evidently was going to, until I assured B that if he stepped foot in this town, I’d place him under 72 hour hold, with his friends in White, and the Looney Bin. Could be what he needs most. He went fishing, apparently; wanted me to tell him not to fall in, I passed on that opportunity.

It wasn’t til M said something about me sounding sorry for him - I do feel badly for him - in the same way I feel badly that starving mountain nomads refuse to do anything different that what is traditionally done, because that would break tradition. I pity him. And not in the good way. In the sick get away from me twisted way.

I hope M gets that - I don’t want him wondering if I’m carrying around this array of deep abiding affection for someone who treated me badly.

If anything? I feel marginally guilty that B moved me to…..nothing last night, other than supreme irritation that he even called me.

Honestly. I spent a long time banging away at a lot of this stuff - now however?

I simply cannot be bothered.