MBA or Bust.

Working on Graduate School aps is a lot like staring into the bowels of Hell - detail a hero or mentor that most influenced you and why; what is your assesment of Business Practices on the small business environment, and what would you do to change that, or….choose your own topic. Really. Why should I be allowed into a program of higher learning?

It would appear, I’ve done all my Essential Learning, outside of school - afterall, I can cook complete, nutritious and varried meals, using only a toaster oven, microwave, or open flame. I am the only human on earth, that can sear things, including the charred edges! in the microwave, and can turn out a five course gourmet meal, using only the ingredients in my pantry. I can create costumes from the items lurking at the bottom of my bags, on very short notice, and, I can feed an army of five, out of my glove box. I’m constantly prepared, for any emergency: be it canine or homosapien, automotive or septic.

I have located earring backs out of the central vacuum, along with three army guys, and one clear lego window.

I can diaper small children while on the run - both them, and me - and, I can drive while also chatting on the phone, applying lip liner, drinking a snotty coffee, and doing all the voices in Nightmare Before Christmas. I’ve amassed a six hundred dollar shopping bill at Sams club, without a list, in under 25 minutes, and, I can pack all of it into the back of a Toyota Highlander Hybrid.

I’ve sold AM Radio, successfully, which is something few can lay claim to, and, I did it all while wearing Lucky Black Pants, and cutie heels; I can walk three dogs simultaneously, nicely, and, manage an office of ten, without breaking a sweat. I’m creative, funny, smart, and cute - yet somehow, I doubt that my wardrobe alone proves enough business savvy to get me an interview. If you throw in my dating experience, you could say I’ve created Something from Absolutely Nothing, which should come in handy when composing business proposals, and, I can talk Christ off the cross.

I’m aptly qualified, I think, to attend Marketing classes.

Perhaps, then, I should simply keep it short and sweet:

Multi-tasker seeks position that combines real-world experience with client-oriented business savvy, bringing a unique perspective to the marketing and brand driven table. Ass-kissing fact checker, with fully stocked creative bag for hire. Have fabulous black suit, matching pumps, and killer teeth.

Will kill if necessary to acquire position.

Hmmm. Think my chances are good of acceptance???