I'm not even sure I'm breathing anymore.

I used to babysit for this family, who in turn, became my surrogate family, when mine was falling apart.

I found out, that my mother told this woman, who opinion of me I've always held sacred, that B and I were already married when we had H. She told everyone that. Then, when she hosted my engagement party, several months before I was married, in my hometown, all these people came, and only I found out later that she kept calling it another reception.

I'm so hurt.

And humiliated. No WONDER people kept questioning me about this nebulous other ceremony my mom kept referring to.

All this time, she kept feeding me this shit about how we should always come home first, when anything happened, and here she is, lying about my life because she was embarrassed? I could just die. You know, I was 26 when I found out I was expecting H. My family was not welcoming or even kind, and I was practically disowned until naturally, H got here, and then, it was as if I'd totally imagined the nasty comments, the slights, the lost friendships, and lost family. I finally built some dams over that hurt, and some bridges - only to find out that she's been lying all this time.

I suppose I knew that my family was embarrassed - my sister certainly never made any secret of it. But my mom?

Maybe I shouldn't care, this was years ago now; but I do.

How could she do this to me?