Covet or eat?

How wrong is it to openly covet your child's Easter Bunny?

Is eating it worse? Or on the same level as coveting? The Big Guy upstairs wasn't terribly clear - I mean, if coveting falls beneath actually purloining said object, then it's better to eat it, than covet it. Right? Plus, once eaten, one may no longer covet, avoiding that sin entirely.

Wow.

I'm impressed with myself for that circular logic.

Back to the bunny. Foxy's bunny, to be precise. The one the Easter Bunny left on the table to be ignore by him.

It's totally edible. He won't even know it's gone. So it's okay, then, to steal my son's bunny?

Especially if they've shown no interest in it whatsoever, and it's lying there, awaiting inhalation by someone who's blown right through PMS (and took it out on someone else's house - looks fab, if you ask me - now, ask him? he'd tell you I put stuff in the wrong places) and into Aunt Flo Snarkiness. I hate it when it sneaks right up on me. Being continuously licked by Idiot Fucking Dog is not helping. Is making it worse.

Is kind of snarkiness not assuaged with cake.

The kind that not only needs, but requires chocolate.

Sure, I could go purchase my own Easter Fucking Bunny, off the sale rack, if they're any left, but the ears would be all smashed, or the tail demolished, lying in inedible bits at the bottom of a cellophane wrapped box; none of that will do.

Nope. The damn thing needs to be in Excellent Condition.

Which brings me back to Foxy's.

He's not even asked to open it. He's not even looked at it. It's in full view too - not like I've hidden it away - he's gone through the Snicker's eggs, even the ones in the freezer (not that I can chew those, but I digress), the peanut m n m's, the gross gummy ickiness that J and the kids adore (but I detest) and I've peeps in the freezer for J. See? I thought of everyone else. Doesn't that earn me points?

For all my Easter Fabulousity?

Shouldn't I be able to inhale Foxy's Bunny without repercussions?

Plus also?

It might help raging bitch attitude I'm currently sporting; well, not quite to that level, I've not had to deal with any insurance companies, sales people, or the general public yet. Lois, however, might do best to keep her distance.

Elaine Lundgren is another one that should stay as far away from me as possible. Today, I'm likely to give her what's left of my mind, should I actually focus enough attention on that over-processed-blonde-backstabbing-whore to tell her how I feel. Funny how raging, uncontrollable irritation gives way to some serious unladylike behavior.

I'll need what little patience I have left to deal with those I like.

And my idiot dog, who has proceeded to sit directly on top of me - MORE than a little too close for my comfort today. In fact, if she were smart? Which beagles are supposed to be?

She'd mix me a cocktail, open Foxy's Easter Bunny so I needn't take the blame, and deliver all to me, flipping on the fireplace, all the while loving tending to moi, snuggled up in agony on the couch.

I suppose I could skip the waist expanding chocolate (God knows, that's what water weight is for) and simply pop a few Midol.

A waste of expensive over the counter meds, when there is a bunny staring me full in the face.

Don't you agree?