Game Face and Nails....in place

You'll be thrilled to hear, I've gotten my nails done.

As I'm headed into surgery tomorrow, I figured, be on the safe side. Get your talons tamed. Just in case I decide that while this guy is sticking sharpish objects down my throat, in a wholly threatening way, I might just grab hold of his boys, as say, some measure of control over the situation.

So I'll be heavily sedated.

I still think, even Mostly Sedated, I could rip off his berries should the moment of unbearable pain arise.

And, well, can we be candid here? I'm starting to think that perfectly groomed nails and tamed cuticles are essential in putting on my Brave Mommy Face, that I've been wearing for Foxy, and to a lesser degree, M. Cause in reality? While I'm sitting here, staring at the documents one must sign before entering into the Surgical Suite (why in hell do they give it a cutie name? there is nothing friendly whatsoever in there) I've firmly entered into my Totally Panicked I Can Keep Bleeding Out, The Ulcers Are Lovely phase. Perhaps, if I just stick, firmly to my No Alcohol, No Spicy - Nothing Fried, Heavy on the Dairy Diet, it'll fix itself. I mean, sure, we've tried that, and it didn't really work, but maybe? If we try it again? This time? It'll be okay?

And I get why M isn't here......he buried his grandad. His daughter is graduating. We didn't know I was going in tomorrow. But dammit, I wish he was here. I need him here. He's become one of my bestest friends, and I'm scared, and I wish he was here to remind me that everything will be okay, he'll be there to drive me home, put me to bed, take care of Foxy, bring me something loaded with ice cream, when I can finally eat something, and turn on crappy girl tv I like, like.......Designing Women, and Clean House, and some other completely mindless nonsense he doesn't even like. He'd play with my hair, and kiss my head, and make me feel a little better, while laughing at my out of control Freshly Fucked Bedhead, glasses, and jammie bottoms.

He called this morning, from out west, very upset that he's not going to be here, said he'd change his flight...but how can I ever even ask him to pass on his daughters big graduation party? Get real! I'd be soooo pissed if my dad did that to me! But, I do appreciate the thought, and the gesture.....

So. Keep your fingers crossed for me, so I don't end up wide open on an operating room table, and they can fix it with the litte scope-y thing instead.

I'd cross my fingers too, but I just had my nails done, and I don't want to smudge the polish.