Phantom Pain

Ever notice how getting over loving someone, especially from afar, is akin to losing a limb? There is the initial horrendous shock, the subsequent pain, the terror or becoming disfigured, and finally, the lingering phantom pain that continues whenever you pass a particular cologne, resturaunt, airport or empty bedside. I must say, I was quite proud of myself - I’d finally stopped looking for him everywhere I went, hoping to run into him, and fingering the text option on my cellphone like an addict - especially when intoxicated, which honestly? I’ve been WAY to much recently.

So imagine my shock, when I finally (finally!) meet someone who is classy, sharp, funny, sweet - who is a little intense and it scare me - only to find that the one I’ve wanted for soooooooooo damn long was not only at the same place, with his beloved, but, I didn’t even notice him.

Evidently, my presence didn’t go unnoticed. Nor did my inability to see him, across the bar, with Her. Masses of hair, incidentally, and an aura of don’t fucking touch me that emanated around the room. Funny thing though, that I was so focused on Mr. Maybe, that I totally missed my Mr. Perfect.

Sadly, however, as all good things do indeed come to an end, I got a late night text, while I was sipping water (two very late nights, including dragging a gf off both the bar where we were dancing, in four inch heels, to carrying up the steps of my house to bed is a lot for me!) sitting with Mr. Maybe, aka M. And he comments on my Boys At Via. I’m blown away, and went suddenly cold and clammy, and then hot and furious. So amusing that one can detect scorn across a text portal! I respond, jealous much?

And, naturally, he is. And, as usual, my Won’t Power deserted me, leaving me at the mercy of my Will Power. Never a good idea. It’s just as it always it - hot text, that scorched nearly everything it touches, including me, that goes for hours, with photo accompiament, (holy cow) and now, I’m left with the Left Hung Hangover, along with the Moral Hangover - which I shouldn’t have, since I didn’t start it. HE did.

Either way - the phantom pain is back.

The only upside? When my phone died and I lost my Ego Building Hard-on proof that I erected without ever even touching him, now I’ve a replacement.