Microwave Bombs

Too much of a good thing does indeed, tend to blow up in your face.

I have a recipe for a clean microwave - yes, it's an actual recipe, it has ingredients - such a fabulous recipe, that it'll take years of ickiness right off the top, sides, door, and bottom, in a mere two minutes. Or more. Depends on layers of grime, and atomic cooking abilities of microwave. For those of you who need four minutes to heat up a cup of coffee, adjust your cooking time accordingly. I need a mere 15 second to take a cup of cold coffee to Burning Oil level of heatedness, so I certainly fall into the 2 minute category.

Now, while it's true that the microwave needed a little TLC, as Mag's pointed out, it's not like the microwave where I first concocted this recipe - that would be on the XMIL (X-Monster In Law) who's layers of grime were more numerous than levels of Earth to reach the core.

In a word? It was GROSS.

I pulled on rubber gloves, (see? I learned from the Clean Bath Get Wart Experience) tackled that sucker with just about everything. Nothing. Doing. Pulled out all the stops, some ingenuity - of which I had more than cleaning products - and devised The Recipe.

One 2 cup Pyrex measuring cup. Glass.

Three drop dishwashing fluid - I like Method's Grafpefruit Soap, it smells pretty, and it's pink

Four drops lemon juice (fresh lemon, fake lemon juice, lime juice from a wedge left over)

2 minutes

Open microwave after two minutes, wipe clean with either paper towels, or, that hand towel hanging on the stove you were going to wash anyway, once you realized the dog'd been licking off your son's greasy handprints from Chinese food night. Whatever. Either works really well.

This morning, I used the Hand Towel Method, as the fiber was better suited to trying to grind off overcooked baked bean residue from the top and sides. (Note to self: do not leave tupperwear top closed during reheating: those suckers blow right off spattering sides of appliance. Hmm. I'm noticing a theme here....microwave activities involve some form of controlled bomb sightings)

Honestly, I'm still a wee tad under the weather, still adjusting to the whole Use My Brain and Hands to communicate instead of what was once a great yapping maw. I really didn't feel like using all the elbow grease required to remove baked on beans.

Simple.

Close door, add 2 minutes on the clock, continue to ignore physician's orders, and talk through wired jaws with Mag's, on the phone. I convinced her to come here, instead of laying in bed to watch her fave movie - like, hello, tea totally rates above something you can rent. What we talk about? Not rent-able. Hell. Mostly not even repeatable. Hey, what are best friends for, anyway, right?!

Pacing on the phone in this house in an acquired art form; I rounded the corner from my circle round the dining room table, into the kitchen just in time to see the microwave door blow open.

Holy.

Hell.

Who knew that too much freaking steam would pop open the door of a perfectly slightly higher rated than normal microwave?! Eggs, potatoes, yes. STEAM?! Good news though! Microwave still works, and all that stuff I didn't feel like peeling off with my fingernails?

Fell right onto the microwave plate during mini-explosion. Wipe down: a veritable joy!

Scared out of my pants? A rather unpleasant side effect. Fear that I'd have to tell J that I'd blown up a microwave using only water? A nasty moment as well. He already knows that I can take down cell phones, a vacuum and a car using water; I don't need to verify my destructive tendencies with electrical appliances, especially as I'm about to repeat this cleaning process on his microwave.

Thus, I'll scale back my cooking time, and give his microwave the spa treatment - enough treatment so as to be beneficial; not enough to blow up in my face.

Cuz' really? There is such a thing as Too Much of A Good Thing.

Clearly.