Oh No You Didn't

Apr. 5th, 2007 at 7:11 PM

Dear Mother Of That Bastard That Attacked My Kid,

After being summoned to the office today, to collect my sobbing (but unhurt, thank your lucky stars) child, I thought it best that you and I hash this out as rational, competent adults, who are both on a journey of slef-discovery while raising our boys.

Oh no you fucking did NOT try to tell me that MY child instigating the event on the playground - I don't care who is going to the hospital, my child, and get your overdone, fake, spikey green nails out of my face when you address me - my child did not, under any circumstances cause the removal of your child from this program permanately.

First, allow me to point on the numerous occassions you've been called in here, from your work as a total hack job at a salon, to pick up your child, Shit Kicker, from the elephants room. Now, I make the point about the room, as you clearly can see, my child, is in the GIRAFFE room you twit. Or twat, you choose.

Secondly, let me also point out, that my child was defending another child who is considerably smaller than your heathanistic, ill-mannered bastard of an alcoholic from being attacked by him. AGAIN. It is not my faut that in the course of his karate training, he's gained a far greater measure of control, intensity, and aim than your child could even hope to acheive. Thus, while I am sorry, to a certain extent that Watts (his real name? c'mon, really?) is going to the ER, to get his possibly bruised kidney checked out, I have to say, that may be the safest spot for him, as I'm ready to kick his fat, ugly little ass around the playground myself, and mine wasn't even the other child injured here.

Thirdly, and let me make this point as clear as possible, as I fear I've used words that are way too big for you to understand, you're not wanted here. Your smelly, obnoxious, tiring, foul-mouthed, bad-habited child deserves to wallow away in whatever backwoods, toothless county ya'all come from - he is not one to benefit from an excellent education, so spare teh rest of us his attitude, behavoir, and very presence.

Lastly, if you EVER, and I mean ever poke me again with those rat-trap nails of yours, I will bed you over my arm, dislocate your elbow in the process and knock out your last few remaining front teeth.

Have I made myself clear?