Much Ado Over....Nothing Importnat

I realized when downsizing, I would most likely lose some of my precious kitchen cabinets, perhaps, a closet or two….what I didn’t realize, is that this kitchen? The one in which I’m attempting to find homes for say, anything of use and/or value? Has odd sized cabinets. Oddly small cabinets and drawers. The smallest one piece silverware drawer divider, for example, is HUGE comparatively speaking, to say, the drawer. Now, as I seem to attract all sets of silverware like moths to a flame, I have indeed, a place setting for at least eight, and in some instances, twelve, including things like soup spoons, steak and butter knives…three sizes of forks, long handled iced tea (really, they should call them ice cream) spoons, and believe it or not, grapefruit spoons.

Yes. That’s a lot of spoon options.

Now, I’m stuck with Limited Options in where to STORE said spoons. Not to mention knives, forks, cooking utensils….oh, the dishes look lovely - the ones that I picked up when I returned all that unused really expensive wedding china we got, for which I still had the receipts - seriously. They were in the boxes. They fit quite well in the cabinet. Notice. Lack of “s” after that last word. Cabinet. ONE cabinet can hold glasses and dishes, the other’s, need be designated to hold something (anything really) else - did I mention, there is no pantry? Am I living in Europe? Am I supposed to shop for the Bottomless Pit everyday?

Don’t misunderstand - I adore the condo. It’s cute. It’s quaint. It has mostly hardwood floors, a first floor master, which I’m learning to live with, a finished basement with an office larger than my bedroom, and enough rooms for H to run wild.

But. Damn. The kitchen is only large enough to count as one for the building inspector.

Sadly, I’ll be making yet another trip out to return this last batch of dividers; one can’t just have thier silver flying willy nilly around the drawer! That just won’t do.

I’ve sold most of the furniture, which I’m thrilled about - this whole Starting Fresh is rather liberating. I think? I’m really getting into this whole purge thing while moving. So far, I’ve counted (really, I counted) I’ve unloaded about 49 trash bags full of…..crap, mostly I think….toys, sheets, towels, blankets, clothes, baby stuff, xmas ornaments - anything that remotely reminded me of B is hitting the road.

As 12/5 is our court date, I can only hope that he’ll be hitting the road as well!!

The Wedding is over, and while the post-wedding weekend nausea still lingers, at least I don’t have to don a satin (which I looked really fat in) dress back on, and parade around in the biggest parody of familial harmony I’ve ever been party to. Yep, I read at the ceremony - even teared up in fact - but mostly? due to the fact that I got cheated, and the ceremony was lovely, not really because I believe in the couple. Oh, I know that sounds bad, and maybe it is - and perhaps, I’ve merely a jaded view right now of marriage, but really, this whole experience did not bring my sister and I closer together as my mother had hoped - it more proved to me why I married the jerk I did, and how to avoid that in the future.

Like by boycotting marriage altogher.

Except really? I don’t think I can do that.

I go places with M, all dressed to the nines, and he toasts my success with the big Holy Very Scary Department of Ins exam (which I took, and passed on the first try!!) and the closing on the new condo, and got all teary-eyed and well? My ring finger feels naked. It just….aches for something shiny, and platinum….not, mind you, that I’m saying it’s M. Heaven only knows who it will/might be - I’m just saying. It happens when he’s around. Of course, at the moment, he doesn’t want to get married, and, it’s not like either of us is even fully divorced yet (boy, is THAT dragging on…..but, I’ve a trial date! 12/05/07) but sometimes? I think even he thinks about it. Not necessarily with me, mind, just in general.

He’s very good to me. So good in fact, I’m not quite sure what to do with it - and while he’s still a bag of mixed signals, mostly, I think, he’s terrified of me. He’s convinced that if he falls in love with me, I’ll turn into the Broadzilla’s he’s married before, and will treat him like shit. Funny thing is, like the morning, when I picked up some printer toner, as he was out, he practically threw it at me, as it he cannot accept that someone wants to do something nice for him. I gave him an earful. Just how he does all these very thoughtful, wonderfully sweet things for me, the least he could do (and I mean the VERY least) is smile, say thank you, and feel touched that someone gives a shit enough to make sure he doesn’t spend three weeks bitching about not being able to print at his house, as he’s no toner. That just because Other People have made him feel as though he doesn’t deserve nice things done to and for him, doesn’t mean they are correct. More often? It means they were wrong.

That’s what friends are for. Right?

K. I”m off, to meet with A Possible New Barracuda Of A Lawyer…….as taking a stand is hard, but doing it alone is harder. Always always always have good ammo, and a mean neanderthal with a stick at your side if you can. That way, you can cower behind said neanderthal, goading them on from the sidelines, but avoiding any major bloodshed yourself.

At least, that’s my plan.